It has been a while since I have posted anything other than power rankings. The main reason for lack of solid content is that I have made all of five cents in advertising and as a result, have a day job that takes most of my time and energy. As a reminder, please support this blog by visiting the sponsor links in the top right corner and after every post (yes, that was shameless begging).
Let’s face it; the draft can be a crapshoot. Yahoo! uses some super geeky complex formulas to create predictive rankings for the players at the beginning of the year, but c’mon, those rankings often overvalue or miss half of our starting rosters in place by this time in the season. This week, I will share some of the best and worst draft picks in Puck Yourself, based on stats, rankings, and most importantly, my personal opinion.
The Best
3. Patrick Marleau and Zach Parise (tie) – Andre Poodle Lussier and GM Anze Backup – Marleau’s renaissance is to be expected due to his strong performance 2 years ago, but GM Matt Welsh picked him up 115th overall and is now currently ranked 18th. Great job by Welsh to sell him very high and gain a quality forward and solid netminder. Parise has been a bigger surprise, who has more points already this season than his total for either of the previous two seasons. GM Steve McIntyre could not be more happy with Parise's production, noting that he is as “much improved this year as (Steve Shankopotamous GM) Jesse (Cook) is uglier.” Whoa, that is a lot.
2. Phil Kessel – HANK’S AUTOSHOP – Finally becoming the goal scorer the Boston Bruins saw when they drafted him in 2006, Kessel has benefited from another team who has seen a meteoric rise in talent this year. Taken 148th and ranked 44th, credit really can’t be taken by GM Zach Gray. When asked if he participated in the draft, he replied “my job is to surf Facebook for a living, why would I care about a military draft?”
1. Rob Blake – RoBERTo LuFONGo – This geyser has had a resurgence in his career, but who hasn’t on this dynamite San Jose Sharks team? Ranked 35th by Yahoo! this season and drafted as a last second flier, going 161st out of 170. Finally, something manager Bert Fong hasn’t fucked up.
Some draft picks have been downright embarrassing. When looking at the quality of draft picks and current rankings, this writer excluded those who have seen significant injury time (or else Gaborik would have worst pick, hands down) and netminders, since goalies are a different dynamic and really can’t be compared to offensive players. Note the trend in the following three candidates.
3. Eric Cole – Steve Shankopotamous – Carolina dumped him for a reason. Drafted 97th and ranked 201, another “interesting” (and by interesting I mean shitty) pick by GM Jesse Cook. SS got alot of value out of him, as he rode the pine most of the time and then was dropped for Dustin Byfuglien because Cook “liked Byfuglien’s versatility.” Apparently having zero production from a player who can be put into a forward or defensive position is a good thing…good call.
2. Brian Campbell – Steve Shankopotamous – Drafted 24th overall and currently ranked 146, he has underperformed in relation to GM Jesse Cook’s expectations. The most hilarious part about Cook’s management is that he dropped Duncan Keith, the Blackhawks other noteworthy D-man that was drafted 164th and is ranked 101. Noted Ottawa HC GM Court Watson, “He still starts Campbell, what a buffoon.”
1. Anze Kopitar – Steve Shankopotamous – Drafted 57th and ranked 105, this player might not have made the list if GM Jesse Cook hadn’t talked Anze up like he was the best thing since sliced bread. Offering him in trades as an equal to Jeff Carter, Pavel Datsyuk, Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, leaves this writer in awe. Even better, making the comparison that Anze Kopitar is to hockey what Larry Fitzgerald is to Football left all other managers rolling on the floor, laughing their asses off. For these reasons, this player is easily the worst draft pick of the 2008-09 Puck Yourself season.
SAY IT AIN’T SO
Thomas Vanek is out 3-4 weeks with a broken jaw. Maybe Jesse will compare him to Anquan Boldin, who actually had some balls and played with a broken jaw. Bizzarohawks, somehow defied odds, and are now worse.
Steve Mason is the second player this year to be diagnosed with mono…coincidence he contracts the kissing disease right after being traded to the fantasy team managed by a GM with a gay bullseye? I think not.
Alexander Semin is day to day with an injury to his vagina.
Robert Lang, the streaky Montreal Canadien, is out for the rest of the season with a torn left achilles tendon. One wonders if Cole Ballard hired Carl Spackler so “he’ll quit the game” and ultimately sabotage Steve Shankopotamous.
Coming soon: The rumors you have heard may soon be true. Puck You! may soon be offering weekly podcasts available for subscription on iTunes, with weekly fantasy updates and interviews with league GMs. More details to follow, and remember, give some props to the sponsors!
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