A Duke Spotting

Managed to get the Duke in the broadcast today, and had him agree to an ongoing spot.  Pretty big news, he typically does leave his parents’ house…where he lives.

It can only get better.

In Studio

Just finished filming my first show.  The potential could be astounding….

Think of the possibilities.

A Big Thank You

Just wanted to thank all of my readers (I think there are 6).  Because of you clicking on ads or utilizing the search bar within this blog, I have made a cool $1.45.   Retirement, here I come.

Power Rankings: Week 9

It’s been a while since we last saw power rankings.  Mainly, this is because there are a lot of teams and this is annoying to do.  Also, early to middle of the season just isn’t that exciting; the newness has died down, teams are starting to show their true colors, and the playoff race hasn’t begun to heat up yet.  The funny thing is though, right about this time is when the teams just riding hot starters start to fizzle out, and the teams that made solid draft picks but started slow are starting to comeback.  Also, aww fuck it, I am talking out of my ass right now, lets get to the power rankings.

1.  Grand Rapid T-Hawks (previous: 1) – Took on the best team in the Wales Conference and looked good, despite the slowdown in production from the team stud, Anze Kopitar, subsequent to Ryan Smyth hitting the IR.  Look for this team to pick it up offensively, as Smyth can’t be out much longer.

2.  People Know Me (8) – If this team had anything in net, they would be dominating the league.  Instead, they don’t.  And they aren’t.  One thing to note is that this team for the most part has avoided the injury bug, something that has decimated other teams in the league.  Once other teams get healthy, this team might not be as intimidating as it is right now.

3.  Fun While It Lasted (2) – Who would have thought that when the Atlanta Thrashers didn’t play well, this team’s offense went into the pooper.  Oh wait, it was me.  Goalies hold this team together.  In fact, combine this team with the team above and you have a great fantasy team.  But they aren’t.  And you don’t.

4.  Suck It Trebek (3)  - This team actually had a pretty good week, and just got caught by a team that was really hot in fringe categories.  +/- is a concern for team, as well as aging goaltenders, but the crafty veteran card should hold them up for at least a little while.

5.  Bizzarohawks (7)

6.  Texans (6) – Solid effort this past week.  I am scared to death of this team’s goalies (by that I mean I wouldn’t want them on my roster), but they seem to be doing the job. If only the NHL teams in front of them would help out.

7.  Amish Rake Fighters (9) – 4 guys on the IR, talk about a team decimated by injuries.  Yet, this team still prevailed this past week mainly because of Kiprusoff being awesome.  Offense is a concern, players will need to pick it up, or this team’s two best players need to come off of IR.

8.  Malkin In the Middle (10) – At the start of the week, I would have said that this team has as good of a chance of beating Suck It Trebek as the Oakland Raiders do against the Pittsburgh Steelers.  At the end of the week, I guess this is still true.

9.  Dave‘Killer’Carlson (5) – Lost to one of the bottom feeders of this league the past week.  Crosby out with a penis injury at the end of the week hurt, since he was 30% of the entire teams offense.  Having a hat trick on the bench in Matt Moulson didn’t help either, but I don’t see any big weaknesses in this team.

10.  Kanucks (4) – With the exception of shooting percentage, nothing this team did this past week was notable.  GM Dave Kitchen is trying to revamp his team, but is having a tough time recovering from his draft.

11.  Montreal Wanderers (14) – Has quietly moved up 4 and 6 spots in the total goals and assists categories respectively in the past 3 weeks.  Oddly, this team is in the top 5 of all goalie categories but has yet to post a shutout, the only team in the league without one.  With a near healthy roster, it will be interesting to see what this team can do in the next few weeks, but as of right now, it is a miracle if they make the playoffs.

12.  $0.20 Kane (12) – This team won this past week, but would have lost against almost any other team in the league.  The trade for Luongo is starting to pay dividends, but nothing else on the team looks good.  This team needs some active management.  GM Steve McIntyre is active at nothing.

13.  Swedish Old Balls (13) – I can’t think of one reason I like this team.

14.  Andre Poodle Lussier (11) – Ovechkin being out hurts this team.  It misses him like the desert misses the rain, like peanut butter misses jelly, like Jesse misses Paymon’s swass salt.

The Worst Moves

In light of the Chicago Blackhawks wheeling and dealing to sign three very good players to build a franchise around (though, what kind of franchise you can build with how little money they have left is a contentious debate), I figured it was time to look at the moves made up to this point in the Puck You fantasy league.  Specifically, the shitty moves.  The task was simple.  Each GM would submit, in order, their top (or bottom?) three worst moves of the year.  Each selection would get points based on their rating, (3 for being the 1st pick, 2 for the second pick and 1 for a third pick), and the results are compiled here.  Thanks to the 8 managers that responded to the pole and a big go fuck yourself to the rest.  Without further adieu, I present the top 3 moves considered to be the worst…

3.  People Know Me drops Jimmy Howard right before he becomes a stud – Since being dropped by People Know Me, Jimmy has won 8 games on 12 starts, boasted a 2.40 GAA and a .914 save percentage.  Luckily, GM Jesse Cook has filled the gaping void left by Paymon’s cock in his ass Jimmy with the phenom know as Brian Elliot, who sports a 3.09 GAA. 2 wins on 7 starts and a .891 save percentage.  Moves like this are good for the entire league, save People Know Me.

2.  Kanucks drafting Pavel Datsyuk over Sidney Crosby - Even with Sidney sitting out because his penis is sore from banging all the lovely ladies of Steel town, when you have the chance to take potentially the GREATEST PLAYER OF ALL TIME vs. anyone a very, very good Russian, you draft him.  Even worse, Kanucks later dealt Datsyuk for Joe Pavelski and Devon Setoguchi.  Is there anyone out there that would take those two butt pirates and give up Crosby?  Bert doesn’t count.

1.  Drafting Jimmy Howard in the first round – We all saw it, we all dropped our jaws in shock, and we all pointed and laughed.  As GM Steve McIntyre observed, “that was the dumbest thing I have ever seen in my life.  How he can make fun of me for not knowing how to use a computer after that stunt is beyond me.  Jesse is a joke, or an idiot, or both.  Yeah, he is a joke idiot.”  Goalie management is the only reason this team isn’t in first by a country mile (and is also the only reason Cole Ballard’s team is currently in first…goalies do matter a lot) and while People Know Me has taken advantage of the Kanucks dropping the starting goalie for Anaheim and keeping the backup in Boston, it may not be enough, since the rest of his goalies suck the balls.