As the league gets further along and the bottom feeding teams drop even further, I am hoping that some of you will submit guest posts to this blog. I will give you the title and all I ask if for a response….”Why I hate my fantasy hockey team.” With that, here are this week’s power rankings.
1. Grand Rapid T-Hawks (previous: 3) – Anze Kopitar continues to look good, Ryan Getzlaf, Cristobal Huet and Carey Price have all stepped it up. All this team really needs is some solid d-men. This team is looking strong.
2. In Over My Head (2) – Eeked out a win against the worst team in the league this week. What does GM Cole Ballard do to fix the issues? Adds another Atlanta Thrasher. For those of you keeping score, that is 4 players from one team on the starting roster. Works when they play well, leads to decimation when they get shut out. The active offensive roster on this team is almost comical, with representation of only 6 of the 30 teams in the NHL.
3. Suck It Trebek (6) – Another steamrolling week to take the top spot in the Prince of Wales conference. This team will have its hands full this week against the underrated Texans, and the result will show if this team is more than smoke and mirrors.
4. Kanucks (5) – Solid performance this week. Can’t really say what will happen this coming week; only 4 players remain on the starting roster. Some concern over whether one of the goalies on this team; Jean-Sebastien Giguere has lost his starting job and isn’t interested in being a backup. Giguere pointed a finger almost solely to the time wasted in his new training fad regime, fashionably called Crossfit. As Giguere put it, “it was a complete waste of fucking time.”
5. Dave’Killer’Carlson (1) – The Borg lost a week, there is hope yet.
6. Texans (4) – Quietly hanging around like they have alligator blood in their veins. Goalies have stepped it up, now the rest of the team has to as the 4 Canucks on this squad only play twice this week.
7. Turd Ferguson (7)
8. People Know Me (12) – Clearly this team is a fluke, as discussed in a previous post, but GM Jesse Cook has managed to stay out of his own way this season to date, lets see how long that lasts.
9. Amish Rake Fighters (9) – Roster management makes this team a contender, shameless self promotion and excessive use of hash tags on twitter does not.
10. Malkin in the Middle (8) - “Hoodey...hoodey...hoodey tink gonna beat dem Bengals?”
11. Andre Poodle Lussier (11) – Eeked out a win against arguably the worst team in the league. This means they are only slightly better than arguably the worst team in the league, which means this team is now included in the argument for the worst team in the league.
12. $0.20 Kane (10) – I wanted to reach out to you as a concerned friend: the phone number for the battered women’s shelter is 604-875-4924. Give them a call, after last week you may need some help.
13. Swedish Old Balls (13) – From People Know Me’s GM Jesse Cook. “Two words Bert….YOU SUCK.”
14. Montreal Wanderers (14) – Nothing is going right for this team, 2nd in the league in total points this past week and still got waxed. No real hope in sight. GM Court Watson has turned to the bottle as a source of relief and has begun making trade offers that other GMs have said “looks fair, which means I am getting screwed somehow.” Unfortunately, this team is so bad and desperate that the trade offers actually are fair. How the mighty have fallen.
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