Its A New Dawn, Its A New Day

Its a new year in fantasy hockey, and we have alot of new faces in the league.  Lets get things started by introducing the managers.

Court Watson - Claim to fame is owning shants and playing house league soccer. Previous 4 years of fantasy hockey includes 3 championships and one runner up.

Jesse Cook - Claims to have once been a male model, is believed that that job title was a cover for being the catcher in gay amateur porn. Best known for his obsession and likeness to Anze Kopitar

Steve McIntyre - Player most resembling humpty dumpty. Never seen a happy meal he could say no too. Mismanaged a talented team to last in the previous year.

Peter Burns - New to hockey, attempting to broaden his horizons as he lives in a one trick town, and that trick is the NBA, which isn’t very good. Thinks the two line pass rule has something to do with talking to girls with fake boobs for only so long before they put out.

Chris Thomas - New to Vancouver, attempting to assimilate as quickly as possible, though may never get rid of the accent when saying “Patrick Kay-un.” Also has the ultimate comeback when Jesse makes comments during the season about other people’s sisters.

Matt Welsh - Recently married so expected to spend much more time on fantasy hockey. Arguably the most boring person I know at all times (Court is more boring sober, but less boring wasted).

Ryan Schauble - Quilchena Club Champion, 2008 (after everyone decent has left).

Cole Ballard - Diehard fantasy sports nut, die hard Caps fan. Draft shitty Caps late and trade him for his first rounders…he will probably bite.

Scott Freeland - Fantasy ninja. Best known for not understanding the simplest of rules, unintentionally doing everything possible to come dead last, threatening to do everything to destroy Court Watson at least three times a season, and then getting blackout drunk and sleeping it off in a closet for three days.

Bert Fong – Stupid Asian.  Doesn’t defy the stereotype that Asians lack street sense, but does defy the stereotype that they are good at math.

Dave Kitchen - Soon to be Dave McIntyre. Some sort of aerobics instructor, big puffy socks and all. If he can’t take that joke, good luck with his new father-in-law.

Mike Gaunt - The silent defending champion. Put your crosshairs on this one boys.

David Dugan - Likes to say that he lives in Titletown; tough to argue with him. Is also openly gay, though only mentally, because he “blows your mind.” Also believes the only reason women say half of what they do is because they know they won’t be punched. I like him.

Matthew Meier – Another accounting geek, located in Spokane, Washington.  Hesitant to sign up for the league because he believes he “will get rolled” by more knowledgeable players.  When you are right, you are right.

Gonna be a great season.