Friday, December 19, 2008

Can't We All Just Get Along

Forgot How To Win's manager, Cole Ballard, is struggling in his effort to work trades with the Canadian teams that have joined the league in the first year of Puck Yourself's expansion efforts.

"I can't figure it out, I make a reasonable trade, and they counter with some clown I have never even heard of" notes a frustrated Ballard. "I am a diehard Caps' fan, ever since the days of Pete Peters, and am willing to give up a little just to get Caps', but this is ridiculous."

One trade Ballard points to is his recent effort to acquire Alexander Ovechkin. "I offered Jeff Carter, Pavel Datsyuk, and Nicklas Lidstrom for just Ovechkin, and not only does it get rejected, he comes back with Todd Bertuzzi for Milan Lucic. How the #@!$ are those two related to the initial trade offer and why would I want that cheap shot moron?"

But Ballard says the cake goes to Steve Loves Paymon (SLP). "Does that guy think that I know nothing about hockey?" Cole asks sarcastically. "I offer Carter, the #4 player in the league, for (Nicklas) Backstrom. The he counters by offering Anze Kopitar with Backstrom for Carter and Datsyuk? Is he high? who the hell is Anze Kopitar?"

One thing is clear; Kopitar sure is ugly.

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Ballard says the trade was withdrawn, "But the next offer wasn't any better. He swapped Kopitar for Doug Weight. I mean, he doesn't have to insult me."

When asked to comment on the offer, SLP manager Jesse Cook was vague, only to say "This trade is fair...big names yes, but fair. Both of us are trying to make our clubs as well rounded as possible, and fill any gaps we have." A quick look at recent Yahoo! Sports season rankings show Weight at 72 and Backstrom at 28 respectively for the year, Carter is at 10 and Datsyuk is at 34, respectively. Clearly, Cook has been eating Elmer's glue more often than his usual twice a week.

When asked to comment on Cook's trade proposals, The Plumbers manager, Steve McIntyre, commented "(Cook) uses Paymon's swass salt on (his) corn."

Yes, yes he does.

SAY IT AIN'T SO

Blue Jackets Rookie Derick Brassard is out 3-4 weeks after injuring his shoulder in last night's overtime loss to Dallas, depleting an already weak Ottawa HC roster.

Capitals goalie Jose Theodore has been activated off IR this week, but from a fantasy perpective he is still expected to suck.

The Vancouver Canucks have signed a 1 year deal with Mats Sundin which could show immediate benefit to Roberto Lufongo. The addition still does not address the fact that Roberto Lufongo is still managed by an Asian.

Tim Thomas showed indications of returning to his former self in the scoring melee last night in beantown. Phenom Manny Fernandez stepped in midway through the 2nd period to save Thomas' arse for what likely won't be the last time this season.

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