A Champion's Message - A Repeat, and even more overdue.

 As is tradition in this league, the winner shares a few thoughts about the season, life, anything he damn well pleases. This year, Mitch Please GM Ryan Zupan successfully defended his title, and was thoughtful enough to share the below:

My cup runneth over, gentleman.  So I won a goddamn ‘nother.  Back to back, baby.  Ass to ass. 

Most you don’t know this, & will sadly never get to know it, but 2 cups perfectly fit 3 cans of beer.  There is absolutely nothing in this world like cracking a holy trinity of pilsners, turning on the ole Connor & Leon show, & cutting down fridge trips by 33%.  That energy savings goes straight into the Molson muscle.  A sign of wealth, they say...measure your success in belt loops, not bank accounts.

On Halloween you can duct tape them on & be Edward Steinhands.  Kids love it.  During road trips cars will literally speed up to get pics of guy pulling trailer double fisting Anze the giants, ripping the hip & living the Canadian dream.

 The thing I’ve learned about life is it’s about balance, boys.  2 kids.  2 testicles.  2 hands.  2 cups.  A thing of beauty. And lllllllet me tell hue someting pandejo, the job ain’t done.

Mitch Please is buzzing.  Boys are snapping it around.  We’re eating fruit.  Drinking green juices.  Off the hooch & firing the sauce.  The Russian wall is doing what the 2 best goalies in the world do & the man behind the curtain has assembled what very well should be the fortifying run of a dynasty.  We’re gonna take 3.  We’re gonna go for 4.  We’re getting cups for all the king’s horses & all the king’s men by the time this core hangs up the jocks. 

 

Speaking of jocks, you perverts let me know anytime you wanna come sniff the champ’s.

 

In all seriousness, Mitch Please rules.  Also, be better. 

 

In actual all seriousness, thanks for the banter you goddamn degenerates, thanks for the unsolicited takes, the bad jokes & even worse examples of human character you’re pumping out on the daily.  Thanks for telling me how much you all worship the Oilers & funneling a never-ending stream of reasons not to do any actual work throughout the week.  The Zupermensch have love for you all, which is weird considering I’ve taken more shits in Cabo today than hours spent with some of you in person. 

 

Gaunt, we’ll always be thinking of ya buddy.  Enjoy the view up there & laugh it up at all our disgusting behaviors & horrible GM moves.  We’re a cesspool of humanity.  Anywhere but this league is a better place so rest easy & send a little sugar down ole Mitch Please’s way.  I’d sure love to bookend the Anze chapter & welcome the Gaunt Cup into eternity.  The “Gaunt handshake.”  Gripping the cup for the 1^st time & touching Elysium. 

 

Life’s short boys.  Make it count today.  Zupermensch out.