Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Remembering the Bizarrohawks

In what is hopefully a new tradition, today’s featured post is a eulogy of sorts for a team recently eliminated from the Anze Cup finals.  The eulogy is written by Dave Dugan, GM of Crosby’s Concussions and a close friend and confidant of Bizarrohawks GM Scott Freeland.  And now, I present Dave. 

Surprise!!!  Another year and another non-championship team in Cleveland.  Did anyone really think a team in Cleveland could win anything that is sports related? The Bizarrohawks looked like an early season favorite, but thanks to the managing skills of Scott “Ninja “Freeland they limped into the playoffs losing 4 of the last 5 weeks with a record of 23 – 42.

For those of you who do not know, my involvement in this league is because of Scott.  I remember years ago before my first draft, Scott making me sit on his lap (I was uncomfortable and he was hard) and giving me some sage advice “goaltending is the most important thing in this league”.  Too bad he didn’t take his own advice; his goalie stats were some of the worst in the league and last week he lost by 6 points, 4 of which were Goalie Stats.  Who would have though Jacob Markstrom would let the team down?

Much like their GM the Bizarrohawks are a blah team that is there 1 minute and just absolutely gone the next.  Literally, you turn around and they’re gone, and you’re left walking home from the bar only to see them reappear in a courtyard making out with a 50 year old.  It would be just like this team is drunk walking around Old Vegas and next thing you know they’re not there anymore, only to reappear at a craps table in an All-Asian casino surrounded by a gaggle of Bert Fongs cheering on “white boy #1” and his legendary heater.

This eulogy as the ultimate tribute to Ninja Freeland will just……..

Well said.

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