An Annual Tradition: A Letter from our Champion

It is my favorite post of the year, a post from the League Champion and Anze Cup winner.  We have had some great renditions in the past.  I now present this year’s Anze Cup champion, Court Watson of the Everett Silvertips:

First, I would like to commend Cole Ballard on a tremendous season and postseason run.  He should be proud of the way he actively managed his team to the Anze Cup finals.  Cole cares about winning the Anze Cup, and it is great to have a GM like him in our league.  I am glad he finally was able to see the Everett Silvertips win anything.

When I first found out I won the Anze Cup, I was thrilled, and I didn’t know how I should celebrate.  Do I get my excitement out by planking somewhere? 

Or maybe Landeskoging? 

I felt like neither of those were the right fit.  How do I celebrate such a monumental, yet often reoccurring event?

I took a break after for a bit and did some soul searching , as I knew I wasn’t going to do something as stupid as joining a Crossfit gym and paying $200/month to workout on $110 worth of gym equipment next to topless men:

The year was a crazy year, in the sense that I wasn’t first the entire year, just most of it.  I don’t really remember what anyone else did, nor do I really care.  I was supposed to win, and I won, and all is right in the world.

Does anyone remember when I offered Tyler Seguin and my first round pick to Flowers in the Cage for Logan Couture and a third rounder at the start of the season?  I do.  It was turned down, and somewhere Cole is banging his head on his desk, but even Logan wishes things had been different:

He knows a winner when he sees one.  And he saw me.

As we head into next year, some of you may be thinking, “Court, it was so great to see you win, but oh no! now that you won you might have a late draft pick and we won’t be able to bask in your what seems like half-dozenth championship.  What are we to do?”

Well one, it would be my fifth title, but who is counting?  And B, luckily, I traded Thomas Vanek to Crosby’s Concussions at the end of last year for his first round pick this coming year.  That means I have a 24%, or second best, chance of having the first overall pick.  I know.  You can breathe easy now.

And so with that, I hope all of you have a great summer, recounting my championship and the valor with which it was won.  A break over the summer from Jesse’s fantastic instruction and guidance on how to manage a fantasy team to be eliminated in the first round will be missed during the offseason, but I am looking forward to it once again this coming fall.

As I sign off, I realize exactly how this championship should be celebrated.  Not by imitating or copying another pose, but by creating my own pose.  I call it the Watson, and I leave you with this lasting image to motivate all of you, my fans, and give you something to look forward to next season.

I thank you all, and god bless.

Court

And with that, another year is in the books.  Looking forward to another great season next year.

JM

A New Old Champion

It came down to the last day, but we finally saw the curse of the dead presidents broken, as President’s Trophy winner Everett Silvertips hoisted the Anze Cup.  I don’t know about you, but the new Anze Cup with all 14 teams on it looks real nice, Clark. 

 

In the end, the depth of the Everett Silvertips carried them to the Cup, despite a remarkable run by Flowers in the Cage.  The parity of this league is remarkable, and I look forward to the Champion’s Message from SIlvertips GM Court Watson in the near future.  Actually, not really, because he is the most boring person I know.

Let’s hand out some awards.

Jack Adams Award

The year for accolades continues for Court, as he takes home the Jack Adams Award for GM of the year, tallying 69% of the votes from his peers.  Said Court upon acceptance of the award, “while the goal is always to win the Cup, this is a nice accolade to receive from my peers.”

Eugene Adams Award

Taking 54% of the vote, this award goes to GM Pete Shpak of Pistol’s Hellcats, primarily for the trade rape that occurred and how he argued the player that he acquired that was just as good as the player he dealt single-handedly knocked him out of the first round.  The former Jack Adams award winner had this to say about the award; “You have made me second guess myself more than any other time in my life.  I hate you all.  Except you Jesse.  I love you in an uncomfortable way.”

Andy Kordyban Award

We have a first two time award winner!  That is right, Jesse Cook of Anzoolander is the first ever in our league to be the Duke of Fantasy Hockey at least two years, and it is two years in a row no less!  The race was close, but Jesse took home 46% of the vote.  A defiant Jesse commented, “I have no idea how the Everett Silvertips won the Anze Cup.”  It is pretty clear, based on the votes, that your peers know EXACTLY why you have no clue!

Offseason Notes

Remaining balances can be viewed on the Trades and Transactions tab above.  All balances will be rolled forward and will be settled upon payment of the next season’s entry fees.

Rosters will be posted to that same workbook for offseason trades.  Keep in mind all trades still require commissioner review and approval.

Keepers will be selected and remaining rosters will be released into free agency approximately two weeks before next season’s draft.  Stay tuned for actual dates for the draft, which are yet to be determined, but plan for some time in December.

The draft order will be decided the weekend of April 21-22 at the sorta annual some of the GMs and Commissioners Meeting.  There will be heavy drinking and some furious wheeling and dealing, but enough witnesses to certify the draft.

Thank you all for your participation.  Except you Fatty, three transactions is pathetic.  Go fuck yourself.