n honor of teams being eliminated from the playoffs, I present to you the sixth in a series of eulogies for those teams, as written by a peer. Here, Anzoolander GM Jesse Cook pays his respects to the Jesse Loves Paymon.
Jesse Loves Paymon - RIP
As the saying goes, "you are only as good as your weakest link." In this case the weakest link of Jesse Loves Paymon (JLP) is clearly its GM, 
Stephen's propensity to over-value older players in the twilight of their careers is well known. Players like: Kelser, Malkin, Bergeron, Lupul, Suter and Dubinsky all faltered down the stretch due to having such old balls. You would think anyone with 1/100th of a brain could figure this out...but obviously Stephen could not. Perhaps Stephen should have this guy take over his team next season.
While I will give JLP credit for some decent trades before the stretch run, it was a case of too little too late. I was amazed he actually traded Cam "I
This will be a tough off-season for JLP as coming in 4th place is really really really bad. JLP was simply out-classed in the semi finals by eventual Anze Cup winner Anzoolander. Then, JLP got jack-hammered in the back alley by the Everett Silvertips in the Consolation Final (aka who gives a shit final).
I'll leave you with an actual photo of JLP watching the semi-finals when he realized his team full of losers would not go thru to the Finals. No idea who the broad is...but she also looks upset...probably because you ate all of the popcorn you selfish bastard!
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