In honor of teams being eliminated from the playoffs, I present to you the Third in a series of eulogies for those teams, as written by a peer. Here, Bizarrohawks’ new GM Luke Mackinnon pays his respects to the Everett Silvertips.
Everett Silvertips – RIP 2015
Everett Silvertips, led by GM Court Watson, put forth a disappointing week that ends the dream in returning to glory. A fading star, perennial winner Watson put together an inconsistent, streaky team that was lucky to make it to the playoffs. Riddled with injuries, we take a closer look at this team’s fall from grace.
Armed with arguably the best keepers in the game, this was a team that missed the playoffs last year and almost again this year. If either of the two other teams trying to make it in could have scored even 4 wins on the final week, I wouldn't be giving this eulogy. Something is wrong with the home computer and system... has to be with these past results... time for an upgrade.
The downfall starts early with one of the worst trades of the year, as Nikita Kucherov, both LW/RW eligible, gets shipped out of town for a d-man that ends the season with -19, and a goalie who doesn't play. Kucherov ends the season with a Yahoo rank of 25th overall. The next trade was a bold move that took balls, trading one of the best ranked goalies in the league in Quick (2nd most starts/6th in wins) and Backes, for Giroux and the injured for the year Miller. An unlucky injury, as Giroux is a beast and the best player in the trade. These trades lead us to the point that the Tips still have all of their draft picks in tact for next year. Refusing to move to improve, one has to wonder if GM Watson even believed in his own team... a constant pessimist, and belligerent abuser to his own team, I doubt it.
One look at the risky blue line and you would think there was room for improvement - but I'm sure the spreadsheet said that these were the guys who were going to get it done for the Tips, so they stuck with the plan. In the end, Bizarrohawks defense outscore them 13-6 in points (I'm sure there will be some sort of push not to see 4 D slots next year). Joe MaGrath nailed his outlook saying that ancillary stats would win this week out for the Bizarrohawks. 1 SHG, 1 SHA, 1 GWG, 1 SO, were enough to make that come true. Although history did repeat itself, as in week 21, the same 11-4 result took place. If were looking into past weeks, we should also make note that the Everett Silvertips were the only team to legitimately go 0-12, not scoring a point in week 17. Just downright embarrassing.
In a combination with this embarrassing stat, and in all honesty the amazing job you do to run what has to be one of the very best hockey pools out there today... I know we all give you a huge round of applause and massive thank you for your energy, and want to give you this cup (see pic), because you deserve something for your work. The outlook is good for you Court... with a new computer, armed with those keepers, and all your picks in tact; this is a team that will surely be feared next year... at least until you screw it up... again...
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