Thoughts on the Draft

It is Thursday night, I am in an airport, and I have had a few…too many.  Perfect time to share some thoughts on the draft.

1.  Bert Fong is the worst general manager of any organization, real or fantasy, I have ever seen.  Nobody can submarine an organization like he can.  It is so bad it I am actually impressed.

2.  Chris Thomas almost one upped his brother in law, GM Jesse Cook, by drafting Anton Khudobin in the third round.  You may recall the great draft of 2009.  I say almost, because Thomas didn’t select him 9th overall.  Lets see if he continues in his brother-in-laws footsteps by trading Khudobin for peanuts one day before Tuukka Rask goes down with an case of European pussiness.

3.  The 1st overall pick in the actual NHL draft continues to be drafted in our league in my mind, way, way to early.  Factoring in how much later the 2nd overall pick has gone, those players are a bargain (Hall, 6th, Seguin, 13th in 2010.  RNH, 1st, Landeskog, 11th).  Bad GMs are paying quite a premium in the draft, and it isn’t really paying off.

4.  GM Court Watson, who has drafted the 2nd overall NHL pick the last two years, continued that trend by drafting the 2nd forward taken in the 2012 draft in Alex Galchenyuk in the 8th round.  It will be interesting to see who performs better between Yakupov and Galchenyuk in relation to where they went in the draft, as critics believe Galchenyuk is physically the most ready for the NHL (similar to the opinion on Landeskog).

5.  The first trade has already happened, and involved a heavyweight.  The Bizarrohawks are clearly making a run this year, though they may lack the goaltenders to make it far.   You got jam Ninja.  The Everett Silvertips could no longer use the rookie rule on Landeskog, which means something had to give, and trading a forward with D-man minutes entering his 30s isn’t the worst move.  Both teams might benefit from this.

6.  GM Jesse Cook really likes his team.  This is no different than the last 4 years, where Anzoolander’s best performance has been a 1st round exit, and required multiple moves during the season to make the team half decent.  Awful.

7.  Ryan Schauble only complained about the time of the draft 76 times, a new low for him.  This was probably due to the fact he only realized what time the draft was the day before, despite it being on the fantasy home page, posted on the blog, and sent to him in the form of a calendar invite.  Baby steps I guess.

8.  ‘Dr. Hook’ once again autodrafted and will probably beat half the teams in the league, just like every other year.  That would normally prove that the draft is a fluke, except this team beats the same teams every year, which shows some people are super bad at fantasy hockey.

9.  The stewardess on my plane could probably lose a few lbs.

10.  And serve drinks faster.

11.  And get in the kitchen.

12.  If you are offended by the term stewardess and think they should be called flight attendant and I am sexist, I disagree.  I call all the employees in the cabin stewardesses, because regardless of gender, they are still a vagina.  And if you are offended, so are you.

13.  Seriously, Bert Fong is awful at Fantasy Hockey.  Like as bad as this car crash.

This is awful and tragic, but I did laugh at the title.

14.  The team that is the scariest is Crosby’s Concussions.  A very solid draft, and I am expecting big things from this team this year.  Varlamov will be more valuable than Kiprusoff, and might replace Letang as a keeper on this team.  You heard it hear first.  Don’t fuck it up Dave.

15.  For multiple reasons, farting on a plane is hilarious.

16.  The best value pick in the draft was David Perron in the ninth.  Unless Bernier gets traded and becomes a starter.  Then it was that pick in the 12th.

17.  The Islanders will make the playoffs because they are awesome.  Hockey with heart.

18.  A nine week fantasy season means any team can win.  If Captain Chinese wins, I will shut down the league and destroy the Anze Cup.

19.  The Anze Cup has aged nicely this season and is excited for its new home.  Even defending champion and GM Court Watson acknowledges it might have a new home, guessing “two inches from where it currently rests.”

20.  This isn’t the year Matt Meier becomes an inspirational story like Rudy and wins it all.  This is the year where his story is like the guy that accomplished nothing and nobody knows about.

21.  That Notre Dame football player and Jesse Cook share something in common; they made up a girl that nobody else ever saw.  Jesse met his in Australia.  Sure you did buddy.  Also, they share something else; they made it up to keep hiding in the closet.

22.  Bryan Little should be required to be on Pistol’s Hellcats.  He looks like GM Pete Shpak, is the same height (5’11”) and his last name is little, which makes me chuckle pretty good. 

23.  The heartwarming story of the draft is BFFs Duncan Keith and Court Watson reunited (and it feels so goooooooood).

24.  I just saw that Vincent Lecavalier went in the second round…wtf?!?!?

25.  Who is fatter?  Lucic or Byfuglien?  Both will be liabilities to their respective fantasy teams.

26.  Ryan Schauble had the best set of keepers in the league and came dead last.  He sucks at this.  So, he brought in a co-manager to help him run his team.  Everyone, Sean Stock.  I like to think of this as being as stupid as the co-dependency between Mayim Bialik and her kids.  I can only imagine who sucks on who’s tits.  I don’t know who Sean is, so that means I hate him, but Steve says he is easy to trade rape, so of course, he is welcome.

27.  I just got cut off by the stewardess, I am done.