New Season Starts Now

Happy playoffs everyone!  What an exciting week, the NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship Game, the Masters, and our playoffs.  I couldn’t be more excited.  Man, there were some shitty teams this year, but they are no longer involved, and good riddance.  The bulk of those teams will probably be golfing this time next year as well.  Here are my usually highly accurate to the point they are almost Nostradamus like predictions for the quarterfinals.

1. Everett Silvertips vs. 8. Not Poodle!!!

After missing the playoffs last year, Not Poodle takes on the back to back President’s Trophy winner.  A big week got Not Poodle into the playoffs,  but keeping a concussed Patrice Bergeron in the starting lineup puts this team at a disadvantage.  The Everett Silvertips first in points but with suspect goaltending and battling injuries to key players.  The curse of the President’s Trophy may rear its ugly head this week, and an eight seed will move on.

Prediction:  Not Poodle squeaks out a win, 8-6-2.

2. Captain Chinese vs. 7. Anzoolander

Two words:  The Wall.  This matchup was over before it started.  I would be absolutely shocked if Brian Elliot lets in a single goal, and expect him to lead Captain Chinese in wins, shutouts, game winning goals, power play goals, etc.

Prediction:  Brian Elliot is nominated for the role of God, Captain Chinese wins 10-4-2.

3.  Flowers in the Cage vs. 6.  Bizzarohawks

Bizzarohawks started the season off on fire, but has cooled down substantially.  But, they are playing the team of misfit goalies;  For some reason, GM Cole Ballard dropped arguably his best goalie with a season record of 14-1.   Arguably the dumbest move of the year, I hope David Legwand is the missing link you hope he is (he isn’t).

Prediction:  Craig Anderson is still rusty, and Bizzarohawks move on to next week when Kovalchuk returns to action, winning 9-5-2.

4.  Kanucks vs. 5.  Super Sperm

I am already laughing at the shit-kicking this is going to be.   Fuck is this going to be funny.  Hottest team in the league looks like they aren’t slowing down, and the Kanucks suck.

Prediction:  Super Sperm wins 14-0-2.

Two thoughts:

1.  GM Steve McIntyre says he likes where his team is going into next year.  First person I have met who openly admits to liking being horrible and finishing last every year.

2.  To the rest of you, you embarrass me.  Yuck.