Playoff Preview: First Round

The regular season is over.  Congrats to the 2009 SJ Sharks for winning the President’s Trophy, it was an impressive season for this team.  Can’t really give GM Cole Ballard too much credit, as this was his initial impression to the team he assembled:

“Please rank me last, or maybe 2^nd to last.  My computer kicked me off-line right after I drafted Kovalchuk (mistake #1 of many last night), so instead of taking Nabakov or Backstrom like I wanted, I got Iginla.  His -2 +/- rating and 37 penalty minutes should lead me to that championship I’ve been chasing for the last 5 years.  Awesome.”

For the record, Iginla’s +/- is currently 6, and he has 51 penalty minutes.

With that, lets look at a breakdown of  of the first round playoff matchups, as we start back at square one again.  Keep in mind, if I projected the final point totals incorrectly this week, this analysis is completely worthless.  Actually, it probably is anyway.

1.  The 2009 SJ Sharks vs. 8.  Amish Rake Fighters

(Season series winner: The 2009 San Jose Sharks (18-4-8))  While rookie GM Peter Burns has done a great job completely ignoring his team, Amish Rake Fighters still find themselves in the playoffs.  Quite simply, this team doesn’t have the firepower or the netminding to keep up with the Sharks.  An upset in this matchup would be of epic proportions, and it won’t happen. 

Prediction:  The Sharks beat Amish Rake Fighters to shit with the Rake Fighters’ own rakes, winning 11-4-1.

2.  Texans vs. 7.  Champs

(Season series winner: Champs (13-12-5))  Should be a hotly contested rematch of this previous week.  This matchup will come down to one thing; goaltending.  Hard to believe that a matchup could come down to Brian “The Wall” Elliot. Out of the six goalies on both team’s the only one worth his sack is Tomas Vokoun.  This matchup will come down to offense, of which the Champs have more of.

Prediction:  Champs get revenge for the Texans GM marrying the Champs GM’s sister, winning 7-6-2

3.  Dave’Killer’ Carlson vs. 6.  Montreal Wanderers

(Season series winner:  Montreal Wanderers (6-4-5))  Two teams not at their best heading into the playoffs.  Looking at the past week, Montreal Wanderers appears to have the upper hand, but the devastating potential loss of Marian Hossa to injury could negate that advantage.  GM Court Watson must make the choice on Hossa tonight; word is he will travel on the upcoming road trip.  Wild card is Martin Brodeur, who could show his old form any week or play worse than Mike Brodeur.

Prediction:  Montreal Wanderers avenge their Championship loss from last year (a one point loss as a result of Martin Brodeur completely shitting the bed, ironically), winning 8-5-2

4.  Bizzarohawks vs. 5. Grand Rapid T-Hawks

(Season series winner: Bizzarohawks (14-11-5))  Bizzarohawks anemic offense against Grand Rapid T-Hawks anemic goaltending.  Can’t believe a playoff team has a very realistic chance of having goaltending stats disqualified for lack of starts.  If Grand Rapid T-Hawks can get the starts, they should have the offensive edge to move on the next round.

Prediction:  Backup goalies get the nod this week, and the mating of the two birds ends up with the T-Hawks on top 9-4-2

On a side note, please note the payouts on the league page have changed in lieu of the cost to create the Anze Cup.  Just one more image needed and we have the glorious beast for the champion of this league….it is beautiful.