Go Puck Yourself Goes Mainstream

Kudos to Court Watson for getting this league in the national media’s spotlight, right where it deserves to be.

See it here.

Awesome.

A New Champion

Congrats to Steve McIntyre on a great season.  Looking forward to the Raven Pub in North Vancouver to see Mr. McIntyre raise the Anze Cup and get so piss drunk he ends up crying in the bushes.  Potentially, the current Cup may be retired as a new Cup has to be created with all the current GMs on the side.

As is part of the tradition, I leave you with a message from our 2010-11 Anze Cup Champion.

I'd like to congratulate all the teams in GPY and in particular Pistol's Hellcats for a hard fought season. I look forward to looking into all of your eyes with an Andy Kordyban style shit eating grin on my face before I crush a rye and coke from the Anze Cup.

Pete - you were 1/4" away from winning this year. If only you were 6' tall.

Court - what rhymes with pine tree? 9-3! The score I crushed you by. Good luck with the Jack Adams award this year. You're the runaway favorite.

Bert - you may want to revamp Bert-metrics, or you could get a job with the New York Islanders and apply it there.

Jesse - your season foreshadows the Blackhawks and the 2011 NHL playoffs. Early first round exit to a superior team. I look forward to drinking 8 lucky lager this spring. You love Paymon.

Scott - your fantasy hockey management efforts are much like your penis... Short and to the left.

Dave K - you surpassed my expectations this year. Great job. I look forward to watching your team be competitive in the 2014-2015 season.

Fatty - it sure felt good sending you to the golf course this year. Make sure you don't break Dave K's driver again.

Cole - please change your team name to the Washington Generals.

Dave D - is your house made of steel? Pittsburgh sucks, Malkin sucks, and Roethlisberger chases high school girls.

Chris T - its hard to criticize a dude from Texas that is just learning about our great game. However, you went to the finals last year and managed to finish 3 Pts from last this year. Maybe you're better off going back to Texas to continue hunting empty beer cans.

Matt M - Congratulations on an unsuccessful year. Even Court beat you. Perhaps you should consider discontinuing your subscription to Bertmetrics.

Mike - see Matt M.

Ryan - you lost to Court.  Lol.  It sure feels good beating you in all three hockey pools we compete in together.  Next year save yourself the time and just write me a cheque.

Your Champ,

JLP

As always, the champion of this league shows true sportsmanship in the final message.

Now for some league awards.  What do you win for each award?  Nothing, just pride.  Good enough for many, just not Schauble.

Jack Adams Award – It was unanimous; Pistol Hellcat’s GM Pete Shpak takes the hardware home for acquiring both Sedin twins.  He will also have a couple of the oldest keepers in the league going forward, but that will be an issue in the years to come, not now.

Eugene Adams Award – With 75% of the vote, GM Bert Fong takes home this coveted prize.  One wonders if it would have been back to back had this award existed last year, but one is also convinced there is a good change it will be back to back wins for the Russian Bert Fong after the next fantasy year.

Andy Kordyban Award – Taking home 50% of the vote and doubling up on the next closest candidate is none other than Anzoolander’s GM Jesse Cook.  Like the Duke, Jesse now has funny hair.  Like the Duke, Jesse now owns a cat.  And, like the Duke, Jesse now is officially recognized for being thoroughly and inadvertently entertaining.

That’s all for this year gentlemen.  Thank you for a great season.  Periodic updates on league and draft status will be provided throughout the summer.  Have a good one, lets all get shitty drunk.

JM

Another New GM in the Halls of Greatness

Two juggernauts enter the Anze Cup finals this week, Jesse Loves Paymon squeaking by in a closer than it looked matchup, and Pistol’s Hellcats continuing to dominate.  Once again, a league virgin is in the playoffs, congratulations to GM Pete Shpak.  Just like in real life,  it took GM Steve McIntyre a ridiculously long time to lose his virginity; this time, it is fantasy hockey playoff virginity, as he takes his first playoff appearance ever into the finals.  The Anze Cup is being cleaned as we speak so that the winner will get to notice how much better beer tastes out of the Anze Cup versus a regular glass (hint: a lot).   This matchup is pretty evenly matched and will come down to one thing:  Pistol’s Hellcats has 60% of their offense from two teams.  If those teams go into a slump, the Anze Cup will be raised by Jesse Loves Paymon.  If they go gangbusters this week, GM Pete Shpak will be holding the Anze Cup high above his head (and at our eye level).  I love the final week of March.  The Anze Cup will be crowned, March Madness will come to an end, the Masters is one week away, and the Bigger Dance is about to start.  Prediciton:  Canucks and Red Wings have a slow week, and Jesse Loves Paymon raises the Anze Cup out of Pete Shpak's reach.  Best of luck, gentlemen.

For the most part, the 2011-12 draft has been figured out, and you can see it on the league transactions and trades workbook (see sidebar).  Changes to draft order as a result of trades have been referenced as applicable.  GMs are responsible for ensuring changes in draft order are correct.

As the year winds down, it is time to vote on a couple of awards.  Lets take a look at the awards and the nominees.

Jack Adams Award

This award is given to the GM adjudged to have contributed the most to his team's success.  This year we have two nominees, Anze Cup finalist Pistol Hellcat's and the playoff dark horse and semifinalist Everett Silvertips.  Pete Shpak of Pistol's Hellcats deftly assembled a powerhouse through trades and waiver acquisitions.  The question is, did he overpay for a championship year and sacrifice his long term future?  With only two picks in the first four rounds next year, this team might be a little to reliant on too few players for years to come.  Meanwhile, GM Court Watson of the Everett Silvertips made many moves that led to constant mockery and some pitiful statistics, but he stuck to his vision and ended up with a team that was top 3 in scoring in the last eight weeks of the league.   Juggling of plugs in net became an issue (but, ironically, did not lead to this team's downfall), but, with Hall and Tavares and half of this team's draft picks next year in the first four rounds, has Watson put this team in position to be a long term powerhouse?

[polldaddy poll=4805089]

Eugene Adams Award

This award is given to the GM who had the least to do with his team's success, or made the biggest impact in preventing them from being successful.  Named after Jack's retarded step brother who couldn't say no to a cool glass of antifreeze.  The first nominee, Steve McIntyre of Jesse Loves Paymon,  thought his team sucked at the draft, and wanted a redo.  He then made 8 moves.  So he had a shitty team (so he thought) and then did nothing about it, and is in the finals.  The other is Siberian Bert Fong of Captain Chinese, who sat on two overperforming goalies with decent (and by decent, I mean shitty) offense, and instead of selling high on either, did nothing and had a quick exit in the first round (Bert was last seen building a railroad in northern Canada).

[polldaddy poll=4805130]

Andy Kordyban Award (a.k.a "The Duke of Fantasy Hockey trophy")

This prestigious award can be given out for several reasons, because like its namesake, this trophy covers so many areas.  Should it go to Scott Freeland for incredible bad luck?  Should it go to Cole Ballard for his Eeyore like mentality?  Should it go to Ryan Schauble for studying the numbers like the Duke studies Hasting Park handicap and walking away still lacking any clue whatsoever?  Dave Kitchen for his complete lack of comedic timing or funny bone?  Or, should it go to Jesse Cook for his well timed humour at the expense of others (even though, like the Duke, we are laughing at Jesse, not with him)?  Let the voice of the people be heard.

[polldaddy poll=4805181]

Happy voting people.