Power Rankings: Week 17

At this juncture in our season, one thing is clear; the disparity between conferences.  A quick look at records in inter-conference matchups shows how truly bad the Prince of Wales division is.  Is it a coincidence that all the GMs in this conference are Canadian.  I think not.  Power rankings below.

1. The 2009 San Jose Sharks (1) – Anyone else notice that the hot goalies that have led this team to the top beginning to lose their mojo? I have..you can all thank me for that, or Jobu, nah, just me. What they need is rest, but neither of them is going to get it during the Olympic break.

2. Malkin In the Middle (4) – It isn’t that this team has won its last 5 weeks, it is that it has won them against mostly Clarence Campbell Conference opponents. The disparity between the two conferences is clearly evident, and it doesn’t take much of a fortune teller to guess that the Anze Cup will go through a Wales team.

3. Grand Rapid T-Hawks (5) – Continues to plod along and hang around. Last two opponents should be a cake walk and give this team great seeding come playoff time.

4. Dave’Killer’ Carlson (3) – This team doesn’t have what it takes to win, just has what it takes to be annoying. As shown last week, a good team can beat’em, and as shown last year, Brodeur late in the year can end this team’s season real fast. One wonders if GM Mike Gaunt will move Brodeur for a lesser goalie and some more offense.

5. Bizarrohawks (6)

6. Montreal Wanderers (8) – On a tear the last few weeks, though that it primarily because this team was playing Wales opponents. Tough schedule the last few weeks, goaltending will have to become more consistent to hang onto a playoff spot. If it does and the offense keeps firing on all cylinders, this team could be a playoff favorite.

7. Texans (7) - The highest ranked Price of Wales Conference team in both the standings and the power rankings, this team has one, yup, just one win against an out of conference opponent. With 6 of the 8 current playoff seeds going to Wales teams, the outlook doesn’t look good for this team.

8. Plattsburgh Pioneers (2) – The bizarro team of the Wales as the only conference team with a better than .500 against out of conference teams. If the goaltending can somehow come around and this team stays in the playoff hunt, it definitely has a chance at hoisting the Anze Cup. In other news, Jimmy Howard is awesome, Elliot is a phenom, and Nabokov never loses. Translation:  Smooth moves by GM Jesse Cook.

9. Swedish Old Balls (11) – This team has the most potent offense in the league. If only they still had Luongo.

10. Amish Rake Fighters (9) – GM Peter Burns doesn’t even remember he owns this team, winning is unlikely.

11. Suck It Trebek (13) – sucks…

12. Jesse Loves Paymon (12) – Paymon’s….

13. Andre Poodle Lussier (14) – engorged…

14. Kanucks (10) – tubesteak.

A Handle on Yandle

Great interview with GM Jesse Cook and his thought process on trades.

Power Rankings: Week 15

Next year, we are making the league smaller.  Why you ask?  Is it because Jesse only like’s to be in one big thing, and it is Paymon’s mouth?  Nope, it is because this weekly update is takes too long with this many teams.  Speaking of which, here they are for this week.

1.  The 2009 SJ Sharks (Previous: 1) – When I first put this team atop the rankings, I hoped it was a bad omen.   They lost that week.  Last week, no power rankings and they won.  This week:  I just had Jobu put a curse on you.

2.  2 mins for Whining (4) – This offensive juggernaut traded away some top talent, and in the process made his offense and goaltending worse.  Cellar dwelling goaltender stats will be the demise of this team, and judging by the recent flurry of moves to put this team on top of the transaction list, GM Jesse Cook knows it.  He was even spotted at a Canucks game courting Roberto Luongo to join his squad.

3.  Dave’Killer’Carlson (6) – The Borg is back.  By the way, does anyone else think it should be a requirement that this team acquire Alexandre Picard?  I do.

4.  Malkin In the Middle (8) – This team has been on a torrent pace the past month and is getting all the right breaks; a Monday morning stat correction gave this team the narrow victory this week.  The recent trade to dump a brutal goalie for a decent center only made this team better.  I pity the team that finishes atop the standings that battles this team come playoff time.

5.  Grand Rapid T-Hawks (2) – Clobbered last week, this team lives and dies by goaltending, of which it starts two of the streakiest in the game.

6.  Bizzarohawks (3) - 

7.  Texans (12) – He may be whinny, but Alexandre Burrows has more goals in the past two weeks than every player on the Calgary Flames…combined.   With Alfredsson coming back hot and Vokoun turning it one, this team could make a strong push through the playoffs.

8.  Montreal Wanderers (7) – Consistently in the top 5 week to week in points the last month and a half and with a solid stable of goaltenders, this team just hasn’t had the breakout win it needs to advance into playoff contention.  Potential back breaking loss this past week, as GM Court Watson stated that the scoring adjustment to Steve Sullivan was “a kick in the nuts, I had the win, then I woke up and it was gone.  Now I know how USC will feel.”  Needs to destroy a team one week to gain any ground in the playoff hunt.  With Fleury hurt, that might not happen.

9.  Amish Rake Fighters (5) – Outplayed by a better team this week; this team just doesn’t have what it takes to be a playoff contender.  I don’t see that changing anytime soon, even with GM Peter Burns sitting at home all day every day now.

10.  Kanucks (9) – This team won last week, but would have gotten smoked by almost every other team.  Bad trades haven’t helped this team, though GM Dave Kitchen gets an ‘A’ for effort.

11.  Swedish Old Balls (13) – Canucks score, this team does well.  If only they still had Luongo, what a dumb fuck GM Bert Fong is.

12.  Jesse Loves Paymon (11) – See dumb fuck above, this team is the benefactor.  Do we blame the shitty team on the fact that GM Red McIntyre just had a kid, or do we blame it on the fact that his track record of sucking speaks for itself?

13.  Suck It Trebek (10) – Never seen a sophmore slump start 1/3 of the way into a GM’s freshman year…well done.

14.  Andre Poodle Lussier (14) – Another sophomre slump, only this slump is coma inducing.