Saturday, October 2, 2010

A Look at the Draft

We had record attendance at this year’s draft, and with such a big league, it is tough to identify who were the clear winners in this draft. Lets take a look at each team and identify where they are strong, and where they fell short.

Ottawa HC – Arguably the youngest team in the draft, and certainly the one with the greatest risk reward. Will Spezza and Gagner come back to his form from a few years ago? Will Gaborik, Lehtonen and Vanek stay healthy? Will Gustavsson live up to his hype? This team has 8 players with less than 3 years experience in the league and needs a lot to go right to compete, but if it does, this team could be a force.

Malkin in the Middle – A well rounded team with solid goaltending, offense and defense. Lacks depth, but if this team can stay healthy, it could be a force. On the other hand, players like Knuble, Tanguay, and Elias may produce like Knuble, Tanguay, and Elias, in which case this team is fucked.

Sultan HC – 7 of 10 starting on offense play on just two teams. While the majority of those players are strong, it just takes one bad week for those two teams, perhaps maybe the first week of the playoffs, and this team could be in trouble. Very solid goaltending, but overall, this teams lack of diversity means GM Cole Ballard is clearly a racist, sexist, ageist and anti-dentite.

Jesse Love Paymon – Some juggernauts on offense, but the talent quickly falls outside the center eligible players. Goalies will be a source of points for this team throughout the year, as Ellis may see a return to form with a young, talented a much better team in front of him. GM Steve McIntyre is already busy, dealing Getzlaf and a 5th round pick for Toews and a 4th round pick to the idiot, Bert Fong. Well played McIntyre.

Camel Toews – Made some deft moves during the draft and has a very well rounded team. The weak spot is at D, but that isn’t a bad place to be weak. I like the drafting of Franzen late as almost all other Red Wings were drafted too high. Mason should have a bounce back year after a sophmore slump and in a new system, and Downie should be a good source of points and PIMs. Has arguably the most worthless bench in the league though, which may be a source of concern. The rest of the league always keeps on eye on this team as GM Jesse Cook has a knack for dropping players with actual talent.

Kanucks – After Dany Heatley, arguably the most offensive player on this team is a defensemen. This team is horrible. I don’t even like the goalies. No relief on the bench either. Crossfit can’t save this team from being awful.

Bizzarohawks – This team has some great fantasy all stars with a solid supporting cast. Goalie play may be a concern for this team as Nittymaki fights for a starting job. I think this team is going to have weeks of domination mixed with weeks of being ass pummeled. Whether the mix leans in this team’s favor is the question.

Captain Chinese – Dare I say that Bert Fong didn’t eliminate his chances right at the draft. Dare I say he might actually do something this year? Nope, I don’t. Horrible team of mainly supporting cast players which should help him miss the playoffs by 5-20 points this year.

Texans – Last year’s Anze Cup runner up has some heavy hitters, but may be a little lacking at second winger. The love affair with Brian “The Wall” Elliot continues this year, but overall this team’s goalie tandem is as weak as GM Chris Thomas’ wireless internet connection.

Not Poodle!!! – Starting three d-men. Pretty much says all that needs to be said. This team should lead the league in PIMs with Bourque, Lucic, Oshie, and three d-men. Great pick up of Jamie Benn, hopefully GM Matt Welsh actually starts him.

This space 4 rent $5 – With the exception of one concussed player, this team has the potential to keep the dynasty of the Borg in tact. Has one franchise center and many other solid players. This team will hinge on netminders, both of which could have very good or very bad years.

Suck it Watson – Arguably the best wingers group in the league, and the worst centers. A few flyer picks on guys who probably won’t pan out, but this team has to very good young goalies that a fantasy franchise can be built around.

Pistol’s Hellcats – Rookie campaign has GM Pete “Pistol” Shpak going deep in goalies. As for the rest of the roster, is there anyone that any GM looks at and thinks “damn, I wish I had that guy?” Sure, there is some talent, but is there any one who can lead this franchise? We all saw what making Roberto Luongo captain does, not sure if it can work on a fantasy squad. Kudos to the GM for his team picture, arguably the best in fantasy sports.

Me So Vyborny – This team has overachievers (Burrows), underachievers (Leino, Jokinen, and Briere), veteran goaltenders and defensemen and players that might have breakout years (Wheeler and Abdelkader). Wouldn’t be surprising to see this team at the top of the standings if the underachievers come around and GM Matt Meier stops using roster spots for people playing in the AHL (Mathieu Carle).

Team names will be locked Monday, October 11. After that day, it is $5 to change your team name. All balances, trades and transactions are being tracked and can be viewed here. Entry fees are still due from the majority of the league, with entries fees due by November 1st. After that, for any team that entry fees are outstanding that team will be unable to trade, drop or add players until entry fees are paid. Instructions on how to pay are mentioned in a previous post.

Monday, September 27, 2010

A League Intro

With the draft looming, now is as good a time as any to re-introduce the teams and general managers in Puck You!  Lets get right to it, starting with the worst team from last season.

Not Poodle!!! – Followed up a 4th place finish where GM Matt Welsh didn’t try with a last place finish where he kinda tried.  Has taken two years to figure out how to place players on IR, and with his attempt to pay for the league in Canadian currency, odds are he still won’t be able to figure out.  Got married and bought a dog in the past year, but is still no fun.

Kanucks – Hideous performance last season proves without question that Crossfit is pointless, demonstrating that GM Dave Kitchen’s training regimen has no effect.  I guess his finish makes sense when you watch this Crossfit video:

Crossfit is for Winners

Jesse Loves Paymon – Two years of piss poor performance has done nothing but increase GM Steve McIntyre’s whining.  Basically, he is the T.O. of fantasy hockey GMs.

Captain Chinese – Has yet to be a threat since Bert Fong took over as manager.  Word is Bert is considering eye surgery in attempt to read the power rankings correctly.  Camel Toews GM Jesse Cook made a not so bold prediction, proclaiming that “by this time tonight, Bert will have drafted himself out of contention.”

Malkin in the Middle – Many ups and downs in GM Dave Dugan’s freshman campaign, it will be interesting to see how he bounce back from a summer that included a visit to Cleveland, a bad baseball team and a rapist.

Suck It Watson – Barely missed the playoffs his freshman year, but with newly born twins, don’t expect GM Ryan Schauble to improve, even with the #1 draft pick.

Ottawa HC – After years of dominance, GM Court Watson could barely muster a fight from his team and was knocked out easily in the first round of last year’s playoffs.  Layoffs and new clients have increased his workload, giving him less time to look at time wasting stuff such as fantasy hockey mock drafts.  Will be interesting to see if last year was a hiccup in a dynasty or the end of an era.

Camel Toews – A much improved sophomore campaign by GM Jesse Cook, despite an absolutely hilarious goat anus of a fuck up during last year’s draft. GM Jesse Cook was quick to identify the problem, revealing that “once I stopped letting Paymon blow it in my face, I stopped going blind from his throat yogurt in my eye and was able to see who I was actually drafting.”  So there.

Sultan HC – Dominated the season only to be the upset of the millennia, ousted in the first round.  GM Cole Ballard is a Seahawks fan, Sonics fan, Mariners fan, Capitals fan, and Silvertips fan, so he is used to failure.  Cole’s campaign slogan for 2010-11?  “Go Storm.”

Bizarrohawks – Ninja like campaign making the conference finals last season, GM Scott Freeland welcomes baby boy Shinobi into the world this summer, which means we should expect to hear even less from him, and his surprise attacks will be even more surprising.

This space 4 rent $5 – The Borg’s manager GM Mike Gaunt followed up a championship season with a near miss last year.  This year, GM Mike Gaunt has a new target in his sites due to the change to a keeper league.  His name is Steven Stamkos.

Texans – Hell of a rookie campaign, losing on a tie breaker in the closest final in Puck You! league’s prestigious history.  Will be interesting to see how this team handles a move into the historically strong Clarence Campbell Conference.  GM Chris Thomas is has a title run in his sites after spending a year in Canada and hearing nothing but hockey leading up to this year’s draft.  Ever the vain GM, Thomas had two words regarding his first pick…”Zach Parise.”

Let the games begin gentlemen.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Draft Order Is Set

It’s official:  The 2010-11 draft for the best fantasy hockey league in the galaxy is set. 

The method for choosing the draft order was a random number generator in Excel.  If you want to geek out and look at the code, go here.  Without further adieu, here is the draft order.

1 Suck It Watson
2 Malkin in the Middle
3 Sultan HC
4 This space 4 rent $5
5 Stanley Cup Champs
6 Not Poodle!!!
7 Texans
8 Kanucks
9 Ottawa HC
10 Jesse Loves Paymon
11 Bizzarohawks
12 Captain Chinese

Remember, there are 4 keeper players after this season, so we might not see This space 4 rent $5 GM the Borg draft 3 goalies in the first three rounds.

Entry fee for the league is $20 USD.  I will be up in Vancouver at a Two In the Box hockey game so a good chunk of the league can pay me there if they like.  No Canadian accepted, mainly because US banking is so ass backwards they won’t convert it to USD.  If you are unable to pay me in person, you can pay me through Paypal, which will take all currencies, and even credit card.

To pay using Paypal:

1.  Go to Paypal.com, select “Send Money.”

2.  Enter courtwatson@hotmail.com in the “To” field.

3.  Select “Personal” and then “Other.”  Click “Continue.”

4.  Complete the next page just like any other online payment.

5.  On the next tab, in the payment details, select “I will pay the fee.”  This should be a nominal fee of $0.20 or so.  The hit send money.

6.  The wise investment has been made.

Please let me know if you have any questions and thank you in advance for payment.

Coming up, an intro to the league managers.