Power Rankings: Week 6

Did you miss me?  I missed you.

1) Me So Vyborny (Previous week: 3) – This team continues to keep opponents at bay, lead by the strong play of Timmy Thomas and Zdeno Chara.  I don’t think this team has what it takes to be a champion, but I have been wrong before in my life.  I think once.

2) Kanucks (1) – Every person on this team was on fire to begin the year.  Gradually, the have returned to their statistical means.  Don’t tell GM Dave Kitchen that, because he is an idiot and will interpret that last sentence as me making fun of his newborn daughter.  On second thought, please tell him that.

3) Anzoolander (5) – Have I ever said how much I like Jamie Benn?   I love him.  The offense continues to hide a very, very weak goaltending squad, and Miller getting shitkicked by Lucic didn’t help.  I don’t see too much of problem though, as GM Jesse Cook stays active and makes the moves that need to be made.

4) Jesse Loves Paymon (11) – Team has come alive, though no credit is due to the GM.  Easily the worst GM in fantasy hockey existence.  Ever.

5) Bizzarohawks (13) – The netminder make up for the weak offense, but I like this team’s prospects.  Going to be up to GM Scott Freeland whether or not they make a title run, which they can if he makes the right moves.  You know, Loui Eriksson is turning out to be a decent number one pick when you compare him to Claude…shit, I tried.  Awful pick Freeland.

6) Pistol’s Hellcats (6) – One part offense, zero part defense.  This team has no chance.

7) Not Poodle (10) – Picked up Khabibulin while he peaked; in other words, he bought high.  Stupid trade Fatty.  You suck.

8) Everett Silvertips (4) – Smoke and mirrors.  While this team keeps up with the top teams, it can’t beat shitty teams, which is a better indicator of how bad this team is.

9) Clarence Swamptown (12) – Do you even remember you are in this league?

10) Texans (7) – Real life Eric Staal is indicative of this entire team.  Huge slump, nobody knows how to fix it.

11) Flowers In The Cage (14) – Making a great comeback to average.  Yay for average.

12) Super Sperm (8) – What a bad team.  At least Rinne is a keeper.

13) Crosby’s Concussions (2) – Has had a rough past 4 weeks in head to head matchups and has dropped off the map statistically;  Offense went from #2 to #12 and Goaltending went from #3 to #11.  The return of Crosby should turn both of those around, because he is a god.

14) Captain Chinese (9) – Exactly where this team should be.  Andrew Brunette was recently promoted to poster boy for this team.