Sunday, December 5, 2010

Power Rankings: Week 8

Who cares about fantasy hockey when HBO is doing a hockey documentary?

I guess we can take a look at the power rankings if you are gay and don’ t wanna watch the video above.

1. Jesse Loves Paymon (Previous: 5) – As I pointed out last week, this team is the team to beat. Heading into this week this team had the number one offense and the fourth ranked goaltending. This was another week of very solid play, despite a lackluster performance from Joe Thornton. Look for this team to separate further from the pack in the coming week as GM Steve McIntyre will take pleasure in kicking the shit out of his brother-in-law’s team.

2. Captain Chinese (1) – Has the fact that they are being lead by a Cambodian GM finally started to takes it toll on this team? Got thumped this week and it was due to a lack of offense. The loss of Patrick Kane could be a serious issue. Everyone is interested to see what player near retirement GM Bert Fong will pick up to fix the issue.

3. Super Sperm (4) – Solid win this week by keeper Phil Kessel and crew. I don’t quite understand the Johan Hedberg acquisition since the Devils only play twice this week and Brodeur is back practicing with the team, but I also don’t understand why keeper Phil Kessel is a keeper and why goalies in this format aren’t keepers. So I guess I will just watch with no interest.

4. Sultan HC (6) – Offense was slow, but goaltenders carried this team to victory. A good win to show this team might not be as one dimensional as you might think (though it probably is).

5. Malkin in the Middle (7) – Umm, Sidney Crosby is ok. This team needs help in net though.

6. Not Poodle!!! (2) – Had just over half the points this team had two weeks ago against the Everett Silvertips. This team is quickly becoming one dimensional with the offense hiding weak goaltending. When the offense isn’t there, this team loses.

7. Pistol’s Hellcats (9) – Strong offense covered for awful goaltending. Shockingly, Steve Mason’s 5.20 GAA and .833 SV% put him on the trading block. Wonder what GM Pete Shpak thinks he will get for those numbers. Probably a load in his face.

8. Anzoolander (11) – Has had two big wins back to back against conference leaders. Solid performance all around but needs another goaltender that can be consistent.

9. Texans (3) – Injuries are beginning to plague this team, as the dominating performance against the Everett Silvertips three weeks ago is becoming a distant memory.

10. This Space for Rent $5 (10) – A team barely above .500 played like a team barely above .500. Had one solid player this week, a player that has to play well since GM Mike Gaunt leveraged the team’s future for him.

11. Me So Vyborny (8) – With Marian Hossa, Steve Downie, and Martin Brodeur out, this team is struggling, bad. This Tim Thomas save was above average.

12. Kanucks (13) – This team sucks only fractionally less than before, but it was enough to move up.

13. Bizzarohawks (12) – Has given up (understandably) on Ilya Kovalchuk. Other than Marc-Andre Fleury, not much is going right for this team.

17. Everett Silvertips (16) – Another week, another loss. Took a flyer on Ilya Kovalchuk and dealt away the best player on the team in the hopes of boosting this team. At this point, this team is too far gone and is beyond repair.

Quote of the week come from Jesse Cook on approving the Kovalchuk-Spezza trade:

“Sure. You still suck Court.”

Very true.

Rejected trade of the week:

Offered: Free real estate services

Asking: Danish clogs with three inch thick soles

Learn to live with your height, Pistol.

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