You know that saying a picture is worth a thousand words? Well, this week the power rankings will be presented in the form of pictures. These pictures represent the average ranking by total numbers for each category, and show through statistics which teams are doing well and which teams are hysterically bad. Keep in mind that statistics can be manipulated to say anything, and 50% of all statistics are made up. I tried really hard, but couldn’t get any of the tables below to spell out “Jesse is gay” with the various data lines.
The first chart shows which teams dominate on offense:
If you can’t see it, that top line is Jesse loves Paymon. It is a little scary. Even scarier is the offensive header into cement Sultan HC has taken.
The following chart is how teams’ goaltenders are faring:
As you can see (or maybe you can't), Captain Chinese is on the verge of a nosedive, failing to move any players when hot for talent and/or picks, and as a result, has diminished its chances of taking the Anze Cup. This is expected when a team is managed by a Siamese. Also of note is the sharp uptick on Me So Vyborny, a team that is finally healthy. Lastly, the Everett Silvertips should just start nobody in net, as it wouldn’t have affected the outcome of any of the team’s last four matchups one bit.
Finally, lets take a look at the overall statistics:
Some observations;
This league is becoming a two horse race. Super Sperm and Jesse loves Paymon are a cut above the rest, while the Kanucks and Everett Silvertips are clearly poo.
Me So Vyborny will be the dark horse come playoff time. When healthy, they can spar with anyone.
Pistol Hellcat’s will live and die by the Canucks. One cold week during our playoffs, and this team loses.
And with that, I bid you all a good night. Except you Fatty. Go fuck yourself.
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